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DISCLAIMER

The book that this biopic is planned to be based on is my autobiography: ‘No Looking Back’ and has been written as anonymously as possible. Some cities, states and institutions have been mentioned but on the whole, no human names have been mentioned. The school where the bullying occurred is in NO WAY AT FAULT NOR IN THE LEAST BIT RESPONSIBLE FOR MY EXPERIENCES.

Talking to other past students both at my old school and other schools, it does seem that most of them look back over their school years with tenderness and happiness and warmth. 90% have told me that they loved those days. And I now know why I was picked on and realise that if I had my time again, there is absolutely nothing I could do about it. The ‘problems’ lay with me, absolutely but they were enough to cause the bullying. And I would have been and still would be powerless to change anything.

The amazing RFDS (Royal Flying Doctor Service) has to be able to land anywhere in emergencies…

‘No Looking Back’ does contain detail about my bullying nightmare which occurred over six years. However, it must be remembered that this happened back in the 1960s and 1970s when such acts as bullying and the like were not recognised nor acknowledged and very little, if anything, was done – and that was only when and if victims spoke up. How were and are the staff supposed to know that someone is being bullied unless they either witness something themselves – or the victim or someone else speaks up for them. I think it was accepted as just being part of life, part of growing up. These days, that has completely changed in many instances and many schools have now got their own anti-bullying programmes in place. Many also have counselors. But again, victims do need to ‘speak up’ and many still won’t, for fear of repercussions and similar. Sadly there are an increasing number of suicides occurring among victims of bullying. Most of these people, so I believe, have not spoken up.

Outside loo. Long since unused but a redback’s paradise. And possibly the odd snake.

There is actually a very fine line between teasing and bullying, although being pushed down stairs, locked in a cupboard and finding a huge spider on my bed (and I am very much arachnophobic) would be hard to be classed as teasing – I reckon they all fall into bullying. Full stop. 

So what is this film about? Me. Yes me. It is a visual autobiography – a biopic. And it is something that I never thought I would do, write an autobiography, let alone make a biopic based on it. At least not until I was in my late 70s or 80s and then probably get someone else to tape, then type it all. 

Shearing shed – or woolshed – most sheep properties have/had them.

But no … or yes, here I am, doing the lot at the moment and loving it. But before I really started writing it, I honestly did not think I had and am still living such an exciting and different and, perhaps, inspirational life that anyone else would be interested in. And that hasn’t – or hadn’t – really changed – I’ve now written and published my book – and life continues. And becoming deeply involved in pre-production for the biopic.

There is a reason I changed my mind and felt that maybe – just maybe – some of what I have done in my life could be interesting – to someone, somewhere – or even inspirational, perhaps. It was when people started asking me about my bullying nightmare – and then being asked to write about it, that my mind began ticking over and I felt that telling my story might just help someone else. Or not. I didn’t know but as I had never previously really described those six nightmare years to anyone, I also felt that writing it all down might be good therapy, for me. And now that I have done that, I think it has been good therapy – I know it certainly brought the memories rushing back and I even shed a few tears, here and there. After that I was being asked about my own primary education (via School of the Air) and then other aspects of my life also seemed to attract questions, whether I thought they were interesting/inspirational or not.

There is another reason – an extremely important reason, why I am doing this. Why I am persevering – not giving up even when I feel I want to stop the world and step off (thank goodness there are people around me who know me well enough to push me…not to step off the world but to get on with all that I am trying to do) and this reason applies to two of ‘my’ other books as well. My sheer passion for the outback and the life of the stations people and so many others who live out there. I have lived in suburbia for most of my life – but will never love it like I do the outback. And I am not talking about the rural areas so much, the farming areas, but more the really remote and isolated areas. Of Australia. 

One other aspect about this biopic is very important to me. I really wanted to use an all-Australian cast and crew – I initially wanted to use only people from SA and WA but then quite a few others applied – from other states and from overseas. I had also realised that a lot of the station hands and some of the owners as well as some working in businesses in outback towns, are from other nations – many are young backpackers. So I have quite a few of the relevant names on the list but overall I am trying to give local actors a chance. I am still working with that aspect and one further very important group of people are our Indigenous people. This last one is proving to be nearly as much a challenge as the funding, but I don’t give up easily. I am fascinated by the Australian entertainment industry and really want to help ‘add’ to it – do my bit any way I can. And if writing the above books, making a doco and the biopic are the ways that I have at the moment, so be it. And as I say, I don’t give up easily. 

I mentioned two of ‘my’ other books – the very first one, which my late father actually wrote, is about our family and ancestors and early life on our sheep station. My father had been writing this book for the last 30 or so years of his life and had literally just finished when he passed away. So it was not published before he died. Instead the manuscript and piles of documents and photographs that accompanied it, went round and round between my brothers and me for the next 17 or so years, until one day, on a birthday, I woke and realised we needed to get Dad’s book out. Someone had to do it. And that someone was me. So I did. I found a publisher who could offer exactly what I wanted and between the two consultants whom were assigned to me, and me, we worked like beavers (beavers do work, don’t they…) to get that book out – preferably before my late mother passed away. She was in her late 80s at the time and still appeared to be enjoying good health – although she was also wonderful at covering up any health issues. But her age was against her and us – but we did get that book out. It was published and released exactly a week after Mum passed away. Yes, I was devastated – but have been reassured that Mum knew something was about to happen and died a happy woman – or as happy as anyone could be when facing the end of life as we know it.

Yes it has been hellishly dry in most of the outback – however, much of this area has also recently had life-saving rains…

Dad’s book is obviously the reason for my enclosing the word ‘my’ in inverted commas – it was not my writing, therefore not my copyright but Dad’s – I simply had it published and released. Then came my biggest effort (until this biopic) – ‘Red Dust Dreams’ which describes the lives of the people on 20 of our sheep and cattle stations around the nation. To conduct the research, I did something that I have always wanted to do, ever since I was a very young girl. I traveled the outback, by myself. And I thrived on it. I visited 17 of the participating stations (in SA., NSW., Qld., the NT and WA – the ACT., Victoria and Tasmania were not included as most of the regional people in those states and territories do not live on such large landholdings – on the whole and as far as I know they are not isolated or remote enough to suit the requirements for this particular book). That was an amazing experience and so much fun. The book was published in 2012 and did become a finalist in the International Book Awards. 

After ‘Red Dust Dreams’ was published and released, the questions mentioned above began. During the research travels I also had a few people asking whether my travels and experiences were being filmed…as in documented, apart from being in the book. In other words, they were asking if a documentary was also being made. A visual interpretation of the written word, as such. It wasn’t – the thought had not occurred to me. But I did start thinking about it when I finally got home. And we have been trying to make this doco for the last few years – but the usual is blocking it – funding. Why does everything rely on money. During this time I was also being asked about my bullying nightmare and my own outback education as well as a few other aspects in my life. I sat and began writing, finally – and thus ‘No Looking Back’ was borne. Although I still did not feel it was that interesting nor inspirational – but others, it seems, feel differently.

Once the book was published and out and I thought I would be moving on, I had people asking about a visual interpretation of it. Huh? A movie – a bio-pic effectively. Oh. Er…no. That sounded exciting actually but also a heck of a lot of work – so into the ‘too hard basket’ it went – for five minutes. 

A typical outback plane. Privately owned by station people.

So – I got into it. Now, remembering that I am not a film-maker and I am in my 60s – and a female to boot – well it did seem that everything was against me even considering this. The other huge obstacle – which does hit just about everyone in this industry – you guessed it – money. Yes, money. Funding. Literally having never done anything like this before, it really was also a matter of the blind leading – something. I started researching heavily and then decided to post a piece on FB – not actually a casting call but more a call for ‘expressions of interest’ – for potential actors. I put two or three of these on relevant FB pages for WA and then tried a couple in SA. Unfortunately, as I no longer live in SA, this was not permitted but the admins were wonderful and posted the blurb that I sent over anyway. This happened around my birthday last year and I was in no way prepared for the response that I received. Not so much from SA (although I did receive a couple from there and both are now on our ‘shortlist’ which was growing daily but has now slowed down), but WA – wow. And then I posted on StarNow – not sure whether that was the best thing I could have done – or the worst. Probably the former but the timing was awful – right on Christmas at that stage. I was swamped. And I have tried to respond to each and every applicant individually – very time consuming but soooo interesting and I am learning just so much. Again all part of my mammoth learning curve. 

Distance signpost giving an idea of how vast Australia is.

I have also been able to find a couple of bigger names to be considered for the major roles as well as finalising locations (three stations are involved at the moment), which I am still doing. Next on the list is to print out all the profiles of those on the shortlist. And the script. At the moment, I think we have a director from South Australia, an assistant director from WA., two executive producers – both from WA, one cameraman who will also be making a ‘behind the scenes’ film as well as bloopers and a few other things. We are also gradually getting the music in place. And of course, the rest of the crew and cast. None of these is in concrete yet but we are getting there. 

So, as you can see, there is a mammoth amount to do but it is very slowly but surely coming together. I also do have several links and ideas for funding, all of which I am looking into and acting on as I can. But any suggestions/ideas for funding from anyone would be very welcome. Even donations are very welcome. 

I plan to keep these blog posts up and out to everyone, but mainly to the people who are shortlisted for consideration for auditioning for the biopic. This is my way of trying to keep everyone updated on our progress. Not sure how often I will publish these but I will do my absolute best to keep everyone updated.

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