No Looking Back – School’s Out and Life Begins (Pt IX)
Chapter Six – 1971 – 4th Year (Leaving – Second Attempt)
We were now nearing the end of my school days, thank goodness. And nothing had improved – I was still as unpopular as ever, although I was getting a bit more of an idea why this was so but still couldn’t do a jolly thing about it.
And that sense of foreboding was still there.
At some stage during 1970, the school had acquired another property. It was a house, just a bit further up the road from the main school. Certainly within walking distance still, but there were a few privately owned homes between the school and the new property. This house had been purchased for the senior boarders. I was a senior boarder. I should have been going into 5th year (matriculation, or Year 12 these days) but as I followed my own history of failing miserably at my first attempt at leaving, I was kept down to give me a chance to have a second go at it. Still failed.
Since I had been kept down with the boarders of the year below me in 1971, when I left for the summer/Christmas holidays, I do have to admit that I was worried that I might be left with those girls – which would have been fine and suited me perfectly – except that I really wanted to go up to this new boarding house. I am still not quite sure why I wanted this so badly, given that I would be in with the girls of my own year again. And I didn’t really think I wanted that.
This feeling that I did want to be in the new boarding house really gnawed at me during the holidays. So much so, that I asked my mother to call the school in late January and find out where I’d be allocated. And I was really relieved to find I was indeed in this wonderful new boarding house. I can only think that perhaps the boarding house staff had considered this carefully and decided that the girls that I just did not get along with, had gone. There would be a dozen of us in the new house and at least three were new. Irrespective of this, I am still mystified by my own feelings about it at the time.
I was allocated a bed in the largest room with four other girls. Two of them had been there throughout, the other two were new. In fact one of the older ones was that other country girl who was with me in Grade 7, but we were anything but friends. To be fair, none of these girls did or said anything nasty to me and I was comfortable in that dormitory. In fact, my final year at that school was almost pleasant.
I even befriended one of the new girls for a while. But it didn’t take her long to start disliking me so that was really the end of that friendship. One of the other new girls was really lovely, but for some reason that I will never understand, was as unpopular as I was, but it never seemed to bother her. We became quite friendly but never really close.
It was during this final year that I had a bit of time in hospital. It actually began during some school holidays. I know I was home when I suddenly developed really severe tummy pains. Mum took me into the doctor (45 minutes away) and he checked me over. But he wasn’t at all concerned about the tummy pains – probably because they had all but disappeared by then anyway. He was far more concerned at my lack of physical development. It was something I had never given any thought to even as all the girls around me were developing and I wasn’t, but it had never worried me. And his concern in turn started to worry Mum. We went home, tummy ache completely gone and I carried on as usual, not a worry in my mind, except the end of the school holidays meaning I would be returning to school, but it was my very last year and it was progressing. So – no worries – just happy.
Back to school I went. And wasn’t really much happier except that I knew that the end was in sight. The end of my six years at that school, the day I would walk out forever. It was gradually coming nearer.
One evening at dinner one of the other girls came to tell me that the senior house mistress wanted to see me. Scared out of my wits I wanted to get this out of the way as quickly as possible. Over I went and was told that I was going into hospital the next morning.
Hospital? Why?
There was nothing wrong with me, or not that I was aware of anyway. But it seemed that the fact that I wasn’t developing was really bothering my mother. It had been organized that I was to be admitted to hospital for tests. Ok. So I was going to hospital. And I think my Godmother must have picked me up and taken me the next morning.
I cannot remember much about the next few days in hospital except being knocked out while I underwent a series of tests. I do recall waking up from that and being very sick. It was almost like that original tummy ache was coming back to haunt me. The results of the tests were all perfectly fine. There was nothing wrong with me – apparently. Sheesh – I could have told them that all along. But that wasn’t the end of it. It seemed that Mum was really worried about me. I still don’t know why – I wasn’t worried at all.
So, I was then put onto some form of tablets. Presumably hormones of some sort – and these worked. Suddenly my body woke up to itself and started sprouting everywhere. I didn’t like that. I had never worried about my lack of – whatever – but it seemed I was the only one. Thankfully, when everything started working I was taken off the tablets and it all stopped again. That suited me. It seemed to prove that my body was fine.
Or so I thought.
Apparently, I thought wrong. During the next school holidays, it was arranged that I was to have a series of injections – in my backside. Ouch! No-one asked me if I wanted this. Actually, I was not consulted about any of this at all and had I known what was going to happen, I might have just tried to put up with that little tummy ache which triggered this whole thing.
So these injections were arranged. Two a week. This was to happen during the school holidays and the owner of one of our neighbouring stations happened to be a nurse or sister at the local hospital so Mum took me over there for these injections. This lady was very good to do this as she didn’t have to. She could have told us to go into the GP or the hospital, but instead she administered them, saving us a considerable amount of driving. They took all of two seconds to administer. It took longer for me to prepare than it did to actually have them. Once the injections stopped, so did my body. I mean, it kept going – just stopped developing.
Back to school and I reckon we were getting pretty close to the end of the year. We only had two lots of holidays in those days, finishing with the long summer/Christmas holidays.
While a lot of the girls, both boarders and day bugs, were sad about leaving school, I wasn’t. I think it was the only term in the entire time I had been at that school that I was actually happy. I really was counting the days down until the very last one. And that last assembly – well, let’s just say I’d given up on expecting to receive any sort of award. It just wasn’t going to happen.
I attended an end-of-school party at the home of one of the day bugs. A girl with whom I became friends in about 2nd or 3rd year. We are still friends on a ‘vague’ level. It was a friendship that began as some do, in an odd way. I was actually friends with two other girls but after a while, it seemed I was the ‘third wheel’ and not really wanted – to their credit, father than just ignore me, they ‘offered’ me to another couple of girls. It was actually the best and nicest thing they could have done. I became very close friends with these latter two and, as mentioned, still have annual contact with one of them. The other? Well, I am not sure what happened there but we seemed to lose contact some years ago and while I did try to maintain this, it was clearly all one-sided, so I gave up.
Life can be funny. As it turns out, many years later one of the girls from the first couple mentioned above is now great friends with one from the second couple. They seem to be part of a group of four very close friends, these two and one other girl with whom I was acquainted at school, but never really friends with and yet another, who didn’t go to our school at all.
And my body did develop – all by itself, some years after I left school. I’d never been a tall person and certainly won’t be now, if anything, I think I am growing out rather than up or down.
