No Looking Back – School’s Out and Life Begins (Pt VIII)
Chapter V – 1970 – 4th Year (Leaving – First Attempt)
Wow. My lack of popularity must have been very obvious by this stage. When I returned to school after the holidays, for the new school year, I found that I had been separated from the girls in my year and put in with those of the year below. This did not upset me at all – it was a relief and I felt that I might actually have a chance of enjoying the year. I was back in the second wing of the new boarding house.
I was in the second dormitory along the corridor with three new girls, one from the country known as the south east as it was south east of Adelaide. One of the other girls came from Alice Springs and she was a very quiet girl. No-one knew a lot about her. The third one came from the city but for some reason she had to board for the year. All three of these girls only started at the school that year.
This was the year that I actually met one of the couple of boarders that I did befriend and has stayed my friend throughout life, although we have very little contact with each other. She lived on a farm not far from our station. She also did come up to stay on the station at one stage but after we all left school. She is also one of the Godmothers to one of my daughters.
Of the three girls in my dorm that year one invited me to her parents’ farm for a long weekend. That was exciting, at least, I thought it was until she also told me that she had entered us into the local tennis tournament which was also on that weekend. Me? Play tennis? Seriously? I don’t think so. However, I have always felt very proud of myself in that I didn’t ask to be pulled out. I wanted to, but didn’t. So on Friday afternoon, off we trotted. The tournament was scheduled for Saturday afternoon so we decided to practise in the morning. There were actually three of us. The girl who had invited us and another girl from school. This latter girl was in it for fun, as was I, but I also had a touch of true seriousness about it. For some very weird reason I wanted to prove myself. Tennis was a sport and I wanted to show that I could play. Even if I couldn’t. I think I did quite well, too, sort of. I got the ball over the net at least twice – now, that’s great for me. The first ball cleared the net comfortably and my opponent returned it, just as comfortably. We even had a bit of a rally. The second ball that I got over was a tad high – and I did hit it hard. It cleared not only the net, but also the wire fence surrounding the court, along with a couple of houses and then disappeared from sight. We never did find it. And we lost the tournament. Never mind – it was fun. Our opponents were very serious and I think were a bit frustrated because we weren’t quite up to their standard.
Somewhere earlier in this book, I mentioned that there were two times when I became ill and one of those times could have been life threatening. I have described that one, when I was very nearly given penicillin.
The second time occurred during this year – 4th Year. It occurred over several days – about a week all told. It was an earache. A rotten earache that gradually deteriorated as the week progressed. Trouble was, it really only manifested itself at night. During the day, I was fine – no pain, nothing. These were also the days when we did our prep in the new library, which was right at the top of the school. This meant, as mentioned earlier, that we had to walk up in a group escorted by a house mistress.
The earache began very mildly. Hardly noticeable. I think I was even able to continue with my homework as though nothing was wrong. That was the first night. The second night – Tuesday – it was worse. It was certainly making itself known and I was starting to have trouble coping with it, while still trying to concentrate on my homework. In fact, that night it did reduce me to tears and I was sent back to the boarding house, with another girl (who must have been a sort of friend – the mistress was very careful who she chose to accompany me, since I could not go alone) and we were both allowed to do our homework in one of the common rooms in the boarding house, with the two junior boarders.
As usual, the ache disappeared completely the next day, which was Wednesday. And that night it returned and was getting increasingly painful. Once again, I tried to do my prep but by this stage, the pain was too much and I couldn’t concentrate at all. And again I was sent back to the boarding house, but this time I was sent alone. This went against all the rules of the boarding house but that particular mistress got away with it. Instead I got into trouble. I ran for dear life down through the school grounds, between all the buildings, as fast as I could, to reach safety in the boarding house. To be honest, I don’t know what I was more frightened of, the increasing pain of the earache, running down through the school by myself or what sort of reception I would get upon reaching the boarding house, although I think I was starting to become beyond worry as I was in too much pain. I was sent straight to the head of the boarding house, who was absolutely furious with me. Again I was told to sit and do my homework with the junior boarders.
Next day, the school doctor was called to see me. It must have been arranged for him to come after school as I was in enough trouble anyway, without having time off. I am really surprised that he was called to see me and not the other way around. Anyway, he did come and he did look in my ear. Surprise! Surprise! Absolutely nothing. My ear looked perfectly fine so apparently I was imagining it all.
But I wasn’t imagining it. Not one bit of it. I was becoming increasingly scared about what was going to happen, both to my ear (I knew it couldn’t last forever – something had to happen – but what…) and with the school regarding whatever punishment I was in for if my earache continued. And it did. That night – yet again, at prep. It started and was unbearable. And again I was sent down to the boarding house alone. No-one believed me at all. Although I guess that was fair enough, given that I didn’t have any pain during the day. I recall reaching the boarding house and it did seem that I was expected; again I was taken to the common room and told to finish my homework there. I was crying. I was in just so much pain. And I was scared – very scared. I must have been carrying on more than the other nights as I was warned not to even think about going to bed.
But the pain was just too much – and I was completely beyond caring. Although going to bed did not seem to help much – it was still extremely painful for most of the nights and by the end of the week, I was exhausted.
So off I trotted, in too much pain to be able to concentrated. I couldn’t function. Both of the junior boarders were concerned when I left, not because of the pain and my crying but because of whatever punishment I would have waiting for me. I didn’t care. I just went to bed.
And then it happened.
Suddenly – a mighty explosion – that’s the only way I can describe it. Inside my head. It didn’t worry me. Normally it would have scared the living daylights out of me – but not that night.
The pain had stopped.
I just lay there, waiting for it to start again. But it didn’t. I cannot remember ever being so comforable. It really was pure bliss.
I could not take the smile from my face. The other girls returned to the boarding house and I walked into the bathroom, beaming from ear to ear.
What happened next did not scare me but has always, to this day, made me wonder. While I was hopping around, dancing and just so happy, I began to realize that the girls weren’t really sharing my happiness. They were trying to, but just couldn’t. Instead they were just staring at me. Finally one of them told me to look at the left side of my head, in the mirror. I did. And again, I never fully understood what happened, mainly because it has never been explained to me, nor have I ever received any apologies.
The left side of my hair was absolutely caked in blood.
The house mistress was called in and cleaned the blood off. I still find it hard to believe that nothing was ever really said about it all. Either I was sent to the GP or he came back to see me, but still nothing was really explained. The only thing I was told was that my ear drum had burst. But why? Why had it burst? I must have had an infection of some sort but why hadn’t it been picked up? And why did it only manifest itself at night and not during the day at all? So many questions. So few answers.
And not an apology to be heard.
The other thing that I have often wondered about – if my ear drum had really burst, could that not have been fatal? I would have thought so. So I guess I was very lucky.
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