No Looking Back – School’s Out and Life Begins (Pt XIIIV)
Chapter 9 – Leaving Adelaide, Settling in Perth – and Marriage (Continued)
Then my husband was transferred across the nation to Sydney. So off we went. Eldest daughter by this stage was starting at primary school and I managed to get my youngest into playgroup. I also made a few friends through both school and playgroup and I formed a craft group in Sydney. This was the time I tried to start up my own business as well, making children’s clothes and decorating and painting them with Hobbytex. Another thing I had a go at was putting together gift baskets and trying to sell them at local markets. All of these fizzled out, but at least I gave them each a chance. Sydney did have an established branch of the old scholars’ association, so I went along to a couple of their functions, but that too, fizzled out – for me, anyway.
With the girls starting in playgroup, kindergarten (or pre-school) and primary school, that I started getting involved in school committees – in the Parents’ and Citizens’ Associations etc.
This was the time I suffered from another health problem. I had done some gardening during the week and developed pains in my right side, just above the hip, by the end of the week. Thinking I had pulled a muscle while gardening, I tried to ignore it and continued as normal for as long as I could, hoping it would eventually go away. Had a reasonably busy weekend and managed to get through it all but by Monday, the pain had deteriorated and I went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with shingles. Apparently, I was also in ‘fashion’ in that two of his other patients had also been diagnosed that morning. Difference was that their pain had only begun over the weekend whereas I had had mine for some days. Their rashes had not yet shown so they were able to take some medication and get rid of their shingles, whereas I’d left mine for too long, the rash was very evident and I couldn’t do anything about it. I kept going for as long as I could (my husband was away) but with two very young daughters and the pain getting worse. I ended up being bedridden and was even hallucinating, the pain was so bad. I cannot remember how long I was in bed for but thankfully my mother-in-law was able to come over to help. I could not have coped alone. Both girls also got chicken pox either before or after I became ill. It was an awful time.
Once I had completely recovered from the illness I resumed my involvement in various committees etc. I did enjoy that and this took me throughout their schooling, right back to WA., when we finally moved back, with our eldest about to start secondary school. I seemed to fit in quite well with almost all their schools and I did make some very good friends. The only two schools that did not seem to ‘click’ with me were the one in Canberra (my husband was transferred there for 11 months at one stage while we lived in the eastern states) but that could have been due to more health issues that I suffered (and which have been described later). I did try to become involved there but it just did not work, so I gave up. The second school was the girls’ secondary school in Perth. No clicking again despite my efforts.
When in Canberra, as mentioned above, I suffered another health issue – a complete nervous breakdown. I cannot really describe how I felt. But I do know it was awful and I felt like I was living a nightmare. It occurred not long after my husband was transferred to Canberra. I cannot remember how or when I began to feel so awful but I do know it built up over some days or weeks. I went to the doctor and was told that I had already suffered the breakdown and it seemed that I had experienced the top three reasons for this: the first being the death of a loved one (my father passed away suddenly not long after we moved), moving house and divorce. While the latter was not technically true, my husband was traveling a lot for work and I was alone more often than not. Again, while trying to cope with two young daughters was not easy. And sadly it is very common. The one thing the specialists kept asking me (as they do with any sufferer in this position) was whether I had considered ‘hurting’ myself. My very adamant answer was no. All I wanted to do was get better. And once on medication and with sheer willpower, that is exactly what happened. I got better. However, going back to my school days, I do know that I would have considered ‘hurting’ myself had I not been so innocent and ignorant and known what suicide even meant. I look back now and just thank goodness for that innocence and ignorance.
With both girls at school full time I began looking for another job. I also did a couple of courses to try to add to my qualifications. This worked to an extent. I successfully landed a couple of positions but they did not last as I discovered that a couple of the firms that employed me had not necessarily been transparent about all the duties that would be performed, including hours of work and when I was told what these would be, I decided none of these positions would suit, so moved on.
However, I did successfully start work at the Australian Taxation Office (ATO) as a keyer for the income tax returns at the end of the financial year. I worked there on a contract basis for a few years and did make three wonderful friends, with whom I remain friends to this day. We have added another lovely lady to our group and have regular lunches. I did enjoy my work there – my hours were great. I started at 8.30 am and finished, with the afternoon shift taking over, at 12.30.
My final place of employment, after leaving the ATO, was as receptionist with a small, family run business. I was there for about seven years, when they ran into financial problems and many of the staff members had their hours reduced heavily. I was one of them. This lasted for about a year before I left altogether.
By this stage both of my daughters were adults, the eldest one being a qualified architect and living up in Broome for some years, with her fellow-architect boyfriend when possible as he was still living and working in Perth and would fly up to Broome as often as he could. They finally married and a couple of years ago presented us with our first gorgeous grandson. They now live in Perth. My youngest daughter really landed on her feet with her first full time position – she became an editor for a privately owned educational publisher in Perth. She also has a long term boyfriend and now lives with his mother and him. Both my husband and I feel exceptionally happy and lucky with the choices both our daughters have made with their partners. We get along very well with both our son-in-law and his family as well as the boyfriend of our youngest daughter and his widowed mother.
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